Catholic Homemaking

This is a difficult post for me to write.  Mainly because I hate with a capital H confrontations.  I am not a person who likes to attract attention.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not shy!  I love talking to people and being with people.  I just don't like being the center of attention.

So you can imagine how hard it was to first start wearing a head covering to Mass.

For many years I had felt called to head cover, but at the time I was attending non denominational protestant churches.  I DID choose to wear dresses and my daughters wore dresses too.  This caused resentment with many of the women in church who wore tight jeans, short short's, mini skirts, and on a memorable occasion a tube dress!

The feeling I got from the hostile looks and cold shoulders was that I was holier than thou, or judging them.  In fact if you bring up modesty with most church going women you will hear virulent femi-nazi  rhetoric.  This is something I wished to avoid, but at the same time The Lord was calling me to dress in a modest and feminine way!  I held off on covering my head, but continued to wear modest, yet pretty dresses.

And then I returned to the Catholic Church.  Ohhh what a wonderful thing it was!  I was baptized Catholic but my mother and step father were both agnostic and I never attended church as a child except very occasionally with my beloved Grandmother who was a devout Catholic.

The moment I stepped into our local Catholic church  I knew I was home!  But my return to the Catholic faith is another story for another time.

Needless to say I was excited to see if other women covered their heads during Mass.  I was to be disappointed however.  In our large congregation I rarely saw a mantilla or head veil.  When I did it was usually a much older woman wearing one.

But the Lord still called me, and the call was becoming more insistent.

This is me wearing a simple scarf pinned to stay in place

So one day I did it!

I had bought some inexpensive hair veils and went on a weekday, thinking that if I was embarrassed it would be in front of fewer people at least, and hopefully I would attract less attention as most of the people who attend daily mass are much older and come from the generation when wearing a veil was common.  I was so nervous and worried that day.  I smile to look back on my terror at appearing "different" from others.

That day not only I, but THREE other women were wearing head coverings!  Seeing those other women was such a relief and certainly a gift from God and mother Mary.  After Mass one of the women came over and we had a lovely conversation about head covering and the reasons for it.  She encouraged me and imparted words of wisdom from her own experiences.  She too had only received snide comments and dirty looks from other women, but she reminded me it was not them that mattered but love for our Lord.

Now I cover every time I go to Mass as do my daughters. I also cover when I pray at our family altar or say the rosary.  So in other words whenever I know I will be worshiping or praying.

So why do I cover?

First I am not going to write an apologetic into this post because it would turn book length.  I plan on writing a post on the reasons with detailed explanations later.  Just know that I have THOROUGHLY researched this topic.  So below are the simple reasons for me.

1. It is biblical
2. The Catholic Church still requires it, although there are many sites online that deny it!
3. Out of love and adoration for our Lord, Mary, and God
4. Out of Modesty

Advice on Hair-coverings and Resources

I have gone regularly to Mass every Sunday and attended 3 different churches.  At one I drew no attention or comments and had nice chats with other head covering ladies, at the second I received dirty looks and cold shoulders from a few older ladies who were known as the gossips of the church, and compliments from a few older men and women.  At the third I have received compliments on my mantillas and my daughters.  Compliments on how nice it was to see young women wearing the head covering again, and other women started wearing them as well.  These compliments have come from men and women, and I even have had ladies ask me where I got my mantillas!  So the kind of attention you get varies on the church.  Don't get discouraged if you receive mean looks or comments!

How to respond to comments:  If you receive a compliment a simple thank you is all that is needed, but if questioned by someone belligerent don't waste time trying to convince them.  They don't want to be convinced or hear your reasons.  They are just venting their anger at seeing you doing something they don't like.  The best answer I have found is that I cover my hair for love.  The love of our Lord of course!  If a lady comes to you and seems genuinely interested then you can of course have a nice conversation.

On daughters:  I would not let my daughters attend Mass wearing dirty clothes or sexy outfits. Those are non negotiable, and for me so is wearing a head covering.  As to age, pretty much once they reach early puberty is a good age.  But if your daughter wants to wear it earlier go ahead and let her!

A good way to start:  When you first start out you may not want to buy a very expensive hair covering.  Pinterest is a great place to get ideas and find your style.  Remember that the idea is not to DRAW attention to yourself, but to be humble.  This isn't about a fashion show, but neither do you need to look like a drudge.  I personally like a neat a pretty appearance that is easy to maintain so I use mantillas.

Places to buy different head coverings

There are so many different styles you can choose from and they can range from cheap to very expensive.  So do what works for you!  Here are some good sites though.

Liturgical Time- Lots of beautiful mantillas, infinity veils, and more.  Also very affordable!

Ebay- I have bought mantillas in lots of colors for only $1.90 each and free shipping!  These aren't the best quality but they look pretty plus they are perfect for girls.

Etsy:  You can find head coverings here in the mid range prices.